Circle back: a journey to understanding

Souvenir It's early morning, the sky is an endless blue and the sun is making the asphalt glitter.  I stand beside my long time friend Marie; w e are in front of her house that has just been renovated.  We are not 10 yet and wearing summer clothes.  Something has happened last night but I don't quite remember whyat. I clearly remember the longing to be somewhere else, someone else. And I tell her: "One day I will be famous." I didn't happened yet. Will it? Maybe not, unless I am able to shake that sens of unworthiness that lingers on my soul and makes me withdraw from projects that might bring me further down a more... glorious? path. Just writing the word "glorious" leaves me somewhat uncomfortable. If I was to ever reach some sort of stardom, would I shy away from it? I long for that recognition, that sens of being important when, clearly, those who have reach these places are not happier than I. I stated before that if it's not on the Inte...

I was born into a small village where everyone knew one another. There were no secrets kept hidden and people were judgemental of everything - and everyone. I was born in 1984 - like the book I cannot get out of my head - to an unemployed mom and a hard-working, barely-there, dad. I came second after my brother who was under-fed as a baby because Mom didn't produce enough milk. There were to be two other girls after me. I had an awkward relationship with my big brother - one day he was nice and the other, he would start the humiliation session at school. Souvenir We walked to school as we lived nearby. On that very first day of elementary school - I remember a crisp fall morning with glorious sun and the bluest sky - I was met by a guy named Patrick at the school's fence. There was only one park entrance, so he couldn't have missed me. I don't know what I have ever done to warrant such anger toward myself. The moment I came into his sight, he started calling me name...